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Legal Observer, SoftSettle Support

Accepting the task with regard to the resolution of conflicts to the effect of child custody by means of mediation used to be a serious challenge. At the same time it helps the estranged spouses to come in terms in many issues or differences with too many sessions or stages backing them.

Relationships among family members are often complex, and a divorce or separation involving children is seldom, if ever, a clean slate. On the contrary, some form of co-parenting is required at least until the child reaches the age of 18 and often the parents have at least occasional contact long after their children are grown. Consequently, new issues giving rise to new conflicts may occur long after separation. Because the situations of each family is different, families should be offered a range of dispute resolution and other services.

The custody of child or children case has to be evaluated against the differences that has broken the relationship of the child’s parents. The evaluation and analysis of such break-up was called for since, they responded by blaming the ex-spouse for the divorce, for their problems, and for difficulties the child was having. In this particular case the respective spouses have not attained divorce from the family court, but separation took them to legal battle and they are in the process heading for a divorce. For the time being, mother of the child being well-off with good earning out of her profession, vested with legal custody of the child. The mother got qualified for a good job in UK, tried to take her child along with her.  The estranged father tried to pull every strings so as to block his separated wife from taking the child to UK without his consent. He found “Mediator Affair” a comfortable refuge to persuade his opposite spouse for a safe support for the child’s future. His intention is appreciative in the midst of their rivalry caused by emotional response to the divorce, being one of intense anger unmitigated by feelings of guilt, sadness and recklessness.

Mediator Affair, took the opportunity of coordinating legal and mental health professionals whose role would be to assist the spouses opening up the possibility of more than individually tailored child custody arrangement. The persuasion from “Mediator Affair” worked well for bringing the opposite spouse to attend the online deliberations of Mediator Affair. Rather than confining to a congested space or simply extended space for child spending a part of each day or alternative days with each parent being influenced by legal authority or court becoming a major factor in the determination of the joint custody arrangement, Mediator Affair tried for some form of co-parenting required at least until the child reaches the age of 18 and often the parents have at least occasional contact long after their children are grown. Consequently, new issues giving rise to new conflicts may occur long after separation. Because the situations of each family is different, families should be offered a range of dispute resolution and other services.

Mediator Affair adopted a strategy for reconciliation where there is a remote possibility so far as the   mother of the child was already bent on taking the child along with her to UK for her professional advancement and child’s future mainly with regard the academic prospects at the cost of the warmth and affection of child’s father.  

The extent to which parents had made a psychological as well as a legal agreement was very important. Their mutual respect for one another as parents, their commitment to their children, a life- and work-style suited to co-parenting, and a strong wish to minimize the sense of loss for their children all contributed to a strong mutual agreement. Mediator Affair with its online platform could interact with these spouses, made them able to develop a satisfactory, smooth running arrangement. The facilities being provided with skilled mediator combining with counsellor could able to persuade the mother of the child to get away from the shackles of hostility towards her separated husband and thus Mediator Affair managed their conflicts, build upon their mutual love for pleasure in their children. The procedural options working for Mediator Affair was more than everything to make the things possible for a smooth settlement within days.

The estranged parents in this case shared with each other the range of emotional reactions of guilt, anger, sadness, and anxiety which have been identified by divorce research and clinical observation as expected responses to the life crisis of their break-up.

Our observations strongly suggest the need for services to assist and support parents such as these in their struggle to overcome the power of the marital and separation or divorce dynamics, to protect the co-parental structure for their child, and to develop skills for coping with the complex demands of joint custody demanded and acceptable by the child.