Blog details

Mrs. Sini Mathew, Mediator, AMA, Settlement Support

Some relevant sociological aspects have to be analyzed before we go for discussion to the effect of resolution of family disputes by alternative methods.  Family disputes were very uncommon during the days of joint family systems in our country. The Karanavar ( the head of the family) or other elders of the family were authorized to act as mediators to resolve any disputes between the members of the family including couples in the particular joint family. Hence rarely disputes turned to be tragedies and most often a provision for patch up of relationships was in the offing  and the bondage among the members in respect of relationship was the amazing feature of the joint family system – we can claim the joint family system as a mighty social  set up.

But unfortunately with the fading of joint family systems and with the advent of  the nuclear family set up, which though enjoy some advantages, lack of guidance and proper supervision used to lead such set up inviting threats of strained  and broken relationships . In case of any disputes arising among the members – husband or wife or between or among children or between children and parents or between or among in-laws, the absence of such mediator really affects the present social set up.

The family disputes that used to occur as a result of the day to day transactions of the members in the family and deemed to be subject matters for the present day mediation or other ADR techniques are as follows:

1. Disputes among Husband and wife

2. Children’s education, health and welfare

3.  Contact with children (separated couples or extended families)

4.   Financial support for children (separated couples)

5.  Lack of trust

6. Parenting differences

7. Disputes while partition including Property settlement

8. Disputes on taking care of parents

9. Relationship breakdown etc..

 By mediation process parties may have a lot of freedom to decide themselves to adjust their mindset in terms with the crucial phases of their future life. The process let them to decide to utilise the opportunity to unite again if everythings go well as the process grows or to seek or go for an uncontested divorce withouot ditching each other as everybody do in the family courts all over the world. The significance of mediation reflects in that of a resolution of the crisis and conflict relating to custody of children after the separation of the spouses as the interests of the children would be taken into account so as to facilitate their parents to share their positions and interests for the well being of their children in the future in the form of friends (even though no more in the role of husband and wife) though they live together as father and mother to their children.

 The scientific form of mediation attempts to change disputes from “win-lose” to “win-win”. Mediation is a non- adversarial process of helping people come to agreement on issue like parenting arrangements, support of children and spouses and division of real and personal property. Mediation occurs when a neutral third-party, who has training in dispute resolution, assists the parties to the dispute and helps them to resolve the issues that are causing conflict and to make cooperative, informed decisions.

 Social significance of mediation & ODR.

 Mediation is about finding solutions. It’s about facing the issues and challenges and dealing with the practicalities of family life after separation. For example, living arrangements, co-parenting, time sharing, budgeting and parenting plans can be discussed, and options created for tem. Both parties are active in this form of ‘brainstorming’, often coming up with unique and creative outcomes that offer the very best compromise. The mediator has no prior knowledge of the parties or their dispute, and remains unbiased throughout the process.

 Indeed, mediation in relation to the other ADR practices is considered to be an uique attempt to conflict resolution. While clients in negotiation finds some impasse in between during their negotiation, the stumble blocks could be averted with the interference of somebody who is an expert to alleviate the tough situations. Hence mediation calls for a third party expert facilitates the parties to conduct free and smooth negotiations. Against Arbitration where there power vests with the third neutral party to impose a decision, Mediator assumes the delicate and discreet role of a facilitator.

Mediation for many people is strongly associated with family disputes, divorce proceedings and child care arrangements. So it’s easy to see how arguments about the welfare arrangements of a vulnerable person would sit quite comfortably within its framework.

 Further SoftSettle Support promoting AMA with online setup have a great to do so far as the affected parties can relax and get involved in the Mediation process without confronting the opposite parties likely to cause tense and emotive situations. Rather their geographical status will not be bar for them to attend and spend their time to resolve the most demanding issues of their life.